According to the documentary, “Autism Every Day,” divorce rates for families with autistic children are as high as eighty percent (80%) and for families of children with any disability that number has been as high as eighty-five to eighty-seven percent (85-87%). That’s high! The main causes? The stress and not understanding your partners perspective.
As with any couple, raising children (both typical and/or non-typical) is challenging. Perhaps, if we can step into each other shoe’s and see different perspectives, it might help us be better parents, not only individually, but as a team.
Therefore, I thought it would be interesting to write and compare my perspective in Raising Addy to my husband’s. So I will share my perspective and have asked my husband to share his next week. We each will write on three topics: our biggest challenge, our main goal and our proudest moment in Raising Addy.
My Biggest Challenge
To sum it up in one word - fear. I constantly live in fear when it comes to Addy. I fear she’ll never be independent; I fear she’ll get hurt, I fear I’ve missed a symptom or challenge she’s facing; I fear our approach is hurting not helping her and, generally speaking, that I’m not doing everything I can for her. Most of all, I fear her diagnosis controls me and my decisions in raising her.
My Main Goal
This may sound funny but in Raising Addy, I have learned to cope through goal setting. It keeps both she and I motivated as well as on task, as nothing comes easily to her. Focusing on the short-term goals keeps my fear of the uncontrollable at bay. If I wanted to set an overall goal for her, it would be that no door is ever closed to her and that she will have every opportunity coupled with the ability to make her own choices. Not me, not society, just her.
My Proudest Moment
Simple. When she was able to say, “Mommy I love you.” I don’t think I will ever forget that day she said it for the first time. After being told by some that she may never talk, that day was the proudest day to date. It proved to me that anything is possible for her, ANYTHING!
Stay tuned for my husband’s biggest challenge, main goal and proudest moment in Raising Addy.
Much love,
Raising Addy
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