Do you ever wonder what to say to a special needs parent? What not say? How can you help or support them? I wish I had the answer, but I don’t. However, I know what I don’t want to hear as a special needs parent. It’s hard enough raising children let alone a special needs child who needs more time and patience. So maybe instead of saying something, perhaps just give a smile or a gesture with the message: you got this mamma! I know most are trying to help, and I appreciate that, but as the saying goes… you don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. Just like I don’t know your child or your challenges.
Consequently, I decided to list my least favorite comments below:
That behavior is normal/all kids act like that, so don’t worry about it.
She will mature out of it.
Have you tried (fill in the blank)?
My child used to do that, but now they are (fill in the blank).
She doesn’t look autistic.
Again, I know most are just trying to help and let me know that it’s going to be ok. That her meltdowns will stop, that she will eventually learn to look where she is going, to cross the street by herself, to tie her own shoes, to chew without choking or to be more independent without constant supervision. I know this will all happen, but maybe at this moment, I just need a smile. Not to be judged, not to be questioned, not to be compared. Just acknowledgement of the lengths to which it’s taken to get where we are at this moment in time. Nothing more, nothing less, but just a simple smile with a twinkle in your eye conveying: you got this momma!
At the end of day, we sometimes don’t know what to say. I don’t even know what to say to another mother let alone a special needs mother. I don’t even know what to say to myself as I navigate this parenting life. So, to all the mommas out there – You got this!
Much love,
Raising Addy
Comments